ODE TO AUTUMN

“To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Autumn is my favorite season.  There is a special energy that comes and fills the air.  The chilly days and the bright skies get my attention, like something is coming just over the horizon.  Some see this time as an end…and it is.  The crops are done producing and the harvesting of the final fruits of the land is occurring.  The leaves are all down, leaving the trees bare.  The earth is deaccumulating its excess and beginning its time of rest.

For me this end is really a beginning; a clean slate is being presented and draws me into a season of gentle pondering, meditating, and stillness.  The work of the last year is dropped into the compost pile, to be worked into what it wants to become.  Now the new thoughts and ideas have the opportunity to show themselves within the barrenness of the earth and the open sky.

I love the bare trees empty of all of their covering of leaves.  The lack of color, the simple dark limbs reaching into the sky in a posture of prayer and praise to their Creator draws me into a spirit of worship.  There is a beautiful simplicity to this scene that somehow clears my mind and soul, making it easier to focus on that one thing.

Yes, Autumn is my favorite season because it ushers in the season of wintering, where my contemplative soul feels most at home.  Autumn calls me to “Come to the quiet” of the next few months and simply be attuned to the silence of the earth around me. 

Wintering is like a Spiritual Practice for me.  It’s when I find my deepest communion with God.  It’s when I find my deepest communion with who I really am.  I enter this year of wintering having returned to that me I know so well.  That makes this Autumn even more precious to me.

NATURAL ORDER OF LIFE

There is a natural order to life.  Watching the Cardinal Family in the tree outside of my window over this past month has been a learning experience.  It speaks to male and female roles, the caretaking that birds do, and the process of building a nest and producing a family. 

It is clear to me that they know their function towards one another and how to do what they need to do.  Their nest is intricately built to protest the eggs from predators and to survive all sorts of weather; hot days, hard rain, fierce wind. There are no workshops for birds so this has to be a natural instinct not learned behavior.

The same goes for all of nature.  Left alone there is a natural order that needs to be honored and left free of human intervention.

Most, if not all of our societal and world problems have at their source the deviation from natural order, which is God’s created order.  Human beings want to create their own world, their own order, and their own way of doing things; hence the crisis and chaos we are in at every level of our existence; mental, physical, and spiritual.

“For this is what the Lord says-

He who created the heavens,

He is God;

He who fashioned and made the earth,

He founded it;

He says;

‘I am the LORD and there is no other.”

Isaiah 45:18

A WHISPER IN THE WIND

Absolute stillness; not a breath of air anywhere

Then, at the very top of the tallest tree the leaves begin to flutter

Then the branches begin to sway

Moments later the movement drifted down the tree to the ground

Soon all of the trees, highest to lowest, were moving ever so gently

The branches simply swaying as the leaves broke through the still air

Moments later all movement stopped and the absolute stillness returned

A breath of God just came to bring its greetings to my hungry heart.

THE SCRIPTURES OF NATURE

THE FOUR SEASONS ARE NATURE’S FOUR GOSPELS

Spring: Jesus is born

Summer:  Jesus reveals the love of God and His Kingdom

Fall:  Jesus dies

Winter: Jesus is buried

Spring: Resurrection:

Jesus lives, again revealing the love of God

And His Kingdom.

You can’t live through Spring and not believe in the Resurrection.

HAPPY EARTH DAY

Happy Earth Day.  As I take out my recycle bin I walk past the beautiful array of spring flowers that were planted years ago by Dan’s father.  Year after year the daffodils and tulips fill the year surrounding my house with exquisite beauty; for awhile.  Then the flowers fade and fall back into the ground where they will go through their own recycling process.  Time and tide, season by season, life goes on; sometimes in full bloom for all to see; sometimes dormant, invisible to the eye.  God’s creation is a masterpiece, untouched by human hands and a mystery to the human mind.

I have many favorite places in nature that I like to remember when my mind is at rest.  Two of them stand out as special; an ancient forest on Gore Mountain, in the Adirondack Mountains in New York, and Easton Beach in Newport, RI.  I visited Gore Mountain with my roommate as she was doing research for her Masters degree in Geology.  She did her research thing and I did my exploring thing.  I discovered a forest and as I entered I felt as though I was walking into another world, untouched by human hands.  It was a magical world, where I imagined fairies and pixies hiding behind the trees and saw little critters scampering along the soft forest floor.  It was absolutely silent and still; I knew I was standing on sacred ground.  I felt at one with all that surrounded me and could have stayed there forever.  I still feel the beauty along with the stillness and silence when my mind returns to that place.

My other special place is the little inhabited rocky beach in Newport.  My father was out on a six month tour of duty and my mom would take my brother and me down to the beach almost every day.  We would set up our makeshift shelter for the day.  We walked the beach searching for shells, surf the waves when the weather was warm enough, and climb high into the cliff of rocks, overlooking the ocean.  Then we would roast hot dogs and marshmallows for dinner or boil lobster and corn.  After the sun went down we would walk the two blocks to our house, leaving our own little island until the next day. 

I love to revisit these special places in my mind often; Simple Pleasures, being one with God’s creation.

THE MIRACLE OF SPRING

As I watch the buds beginning to appear on the bare branches I realize more and more that growth comes from the inner life of the tree.  All that is going on in order for those buds to grow and become visible is happening invisible to my eyes.  The tree trunk and branches that I have looked at all Winter remains the same; but suddenly in the new growth emerges; bud, blossom, leaf, fruit.  It continually amazes me, year after year, this miracle of Spring.

As I watch small changes in my behavior and attitudes I realize more and more that growth comes from the inner life within me.  All that is going on in order for the fruits of the Spirit to begin to grow and become visible in my life is happening invisibly within me.  I look the same on the outside but suddenly, in a particular moment, the new growth emerges; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  It continually amazes me, this miracle of Spring in my soul.

The contemplative life is an inner life.  It can be nurtured but never forced; encouraged but never demanded; desired but never enforced.  It is a life lived inside out, reflective of the Holy Spirit that abides within me.  I can only attend to it and nourish it; it is not mine to control but only to consecrate to the One who gave it to me.

BEYOND KNOWLEDGE TO KNOWING

I remember going down to the beach during a storm and trying to imagine what it was like to experience that as one who didn’t know what I know about storms.  What would I think about looking at the huge and angry waves that had been calm the day before; looking at the dark clouds moving quickly across the sky that had been bright blue and filled with light the day before?  What would I think about the water pouring down on me and the lightening streaking down from above; what would I think about the wind that was blowing so hard it almost knocked me down to the ground?  Eventually I just stopped thinking and simply let myself go into all of it and experienced the life and energy that I was totally immersed in.  I didn’t have to know what, where, or how; I just enjoyed looking at it and being a part of it all.  I went beyond inquisition into inclusion.  I went beyond inquiry into inspiration.  I walked home filled with life and in awe; silent and at peace.

I remember my high school biology class, sitting at the lab table with a dead frog before me.  We were going to learn about the frog by dissecting it piece by piece and observing what made frogs do what frogs do and are.  After we completed the assignment, drew our diagrams, and wrote our responses to the teacher’s questions, we cleaned up the mess and went to our next class.  At the end of the day I walked home and stopped by the pond where I spent many days and hours playing with frogs.  I used to pick them up and talk with them, eye to eye; my friends and I had frog jumping contests with them; sometimes in the evening I would sit and listen to them talk with one another across the pond.  Today as I sat there I wondered why my teacher would think that the way to know a frog was to kill it and cut it all to pieces.  I knew the frogs much better by simply being with them, playing with them, and listening to them talk with one another across the pond.

I remember my times in Bible College, Seminary, and Church reading and listening to all the teachings about God, doctrine, and theology.  I participated in the arguments and learned about all the arguments and debates that had gone on throughout history.  I heard about all the rules and regulations to properly know God and what was the right and wrong way to think about God, the Bible, the Church, and all the Religions in the world.

My hands were full of books and my head was full of information.  But my heart felt empty.  At the end of the day I would go home and simply sit and remember the times I stood on the beach during a storm or sat on the banks of the pond and played with the frogs.  I remember the early hours of the morning when I sit with God in silence and read from my Bible, hearing His words spoken to me through its pages, filling my heart with His Presence.  I go beyond knowledge to knowing.  I enjoy that time and always leave filled with life, awe, and peace.

GROWING MORE LIKE OURSELVES

“We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.”

Amish Proverb

This Proverb struck like lightening in my soul as I read it.  It puts the icing on the cake of all I have been learning as I have been celebrating Lent this year.  I have looked at all the work of trying to get better; all the shame of getting worse; it’s all waste to be added to the composition of who I am. 

The tree I look at every morning has been teaching me that for years.  A tree simply is a tree.  That is all that is expected of it.  The tree seed falls into the ground, and grows into itself.  All the events and circumstances that daily surrounds and affects that tree are inconsequential. They may leave their mark on it, but it still remains the tree it was meant to be.

The tree doesn’t strive to be anything other that what it is.  It simply grows into its full treeness.  It faithfully does what it was created to do and by simply being itself provides nutrition and beauty for the earth and nutrition and beauty for me.  My soul is well fed as I watch its cycles of growth year after year as it grows into its fullness and maturity.  There is a splendor and majesty to a full and mature tree, as it stands against the backdrop of the sky.  It speaks to the splendor, majesty, and power of the God that created it and continually gives it life, as it becomes more like itself.

MISSED MIRACLE

I used to “winter” in Rehoboth Beach, DE, four blocks away from the ocean.  I would be there from October through April and loved the live of a beach hermit that I was able to live for many years.  The best part of my time there was a mourning ritual I made for myself.  Every morning I would walk down the street, stop in at the local bakery, get a cup of coffee, and go sit on the board walk to watch the sun rise.  It was dark as I took my seat on the bench and waited for the show to begin.  One by one the seagulls used to arrive and sit on the shoreline, as if they too knew the miracle that was about to happen. 

The dawn would bring a muted light as the night clouds began to move out, testimony that light does overcome darkness.  The faithful few began to show up, those local folks who came morning after morning.  We nodded to one another but no one spoke.  We observed the sacredness of the moment.  It would get brighter and the sky would become more colorful, with various shades of red and golden yellows, revealing the line in the horizon that distinguished the sea and the sky.  Then the moment came and people stopped and simply looked out to see the tip of red arise, as if it was ascending from the water itself.  The tip grew and within minutes the round red sun was fully exposed and kept rising higher into the sky, bring forth the new day.

The sun rise was always the same, yet always different. It was a stunning event that in my mind, heart, and soul was truly a miracle.  The faithful few began to leave the holy ground they had been standing on.  We nodded to each other, this time with a smile and a simple “Good Morning” shared with one another.  I rose from my bench and walked home to get about my day.

I used to visit the beach during the summers.  But it was very different than my winter beach experience.  People poured down to the shore, blowing in like a hurricane, filling the place with noise and activity.  They were getting away from the madhouse of the busy lives they were living elsewhere, but from where I sat they were merely bringing it down to a different place and renaming it vacation.

I still did my morning ritual but now it was no longer me and a faithful few locals.  In the early morning there were many invaders of the dawn’s solitude and quiet.  There were people jogging with their ears plugged to the music machine on their waist, missing the morning hellos from the seagulls flying in one by one to the shore line.  There were people walking and talking about their business and their lives that they had come here to get away from for awhile.  They would continue their running with their eyes focused ahead to the next step, and go on talking to one another, totally unaware of the changes of color that were happening in the sky, the sea gulls preparing themselves for the coming moment, or the tip of red showing on the horizon, the round red sun coming out of the water and rising, bringing forth a new day.  They missed the miracle, the faithfulness of the moment, and thoughtlessly trampled on holy ground.

Fortunately the faithful few were there; the year round locals and winter beach friends such as me.  They would turn and move from where they were standing and watching the daily miracle.  As they passed by they would smile a “Good Morning” smile, but shaking their heads, simply saying, “Tourist!”  I arose from my bench and went home to get about my day, my heart and mind looking forward to winter.

GOD IS BEYOND ALL THINGS

In the dead of winter it is difficult to remember the new life of spring.

In the cold darkness the warmth and light of the sun eludes me.

My soul turns to despair as I gaze at the barrenness of life.

The branches on the trees are empty, stripped to the bark and colorless.

The sky is grey and bland as the sun hides its rays of gold.

The winter has been long and seemingly barren and devoid of life.

But then he came.  He flew in from the south and landed on a branch.

His brilliant red stood out valiantly against the bland background.

He sat there waiting and then she came, landing on the branch next to him.

They have returned from who knows where as they have year after year.

If history rings true spring is not far behind them.

I welcome them with a smile; my soul begins to warm; my eyes look beyond.

My cardinals are back and I know I’ve been once more redeemed.

In the dreariness of the mundane and uneventful life I allow myself to be drawn into, I forget to look up, to look out, and look beyond what is there.

Beyond my limited senses there is a life beyond this life, a world beyond this world, a God beyond all I can imagine.  When I get stuck in the mundane He brings forth the majestic.  When I get stuck in the humdrum He brings forth the higher way.  He speaks His word and creates a new heart, a new vision, a new life.  Time after time He recreates that heart, vision, and life within me because I forget from time to time.  But He never forgets; He is always timely. 

Year after year my cardinals come back and I know spring is beyond them.

NATURE'S RELATIONSHIP WITH ITS CREATOR

I have been studying about the Kingdom of God in a class taught by Dallas Willard.  I have been enjoying it and it certainly keeps me thinking, not just about that topic but about all of my life.  He explains the Kingdom of God as “the effective rule of God over His creation”.  It’s not about heaven or what happens to me after I die.  It’s about the way I live my life now.

I love watching and listening to the natural world that surrounds me.  I look to nature as one of my greatest teachers.  One of the many things I have noticed is that all of nature exists under the effective rule of God.  It all does what it is created to do and unlike human beings like me it doesn’t rebel against God or try to manage on its own.

 It contains all Truth and beauty.  It contains God’s invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity.  Nature daily pours out speech, with no words, and whispers wisdom and knowledge of God’s law simply by being what it was created to be. 

I do well to be a student of nature, sitting in solitude in its presence and silently learning the lessons it teaches about being subject to the rule of God in His Kingdom; not worship nature but watch its relationship with the Creator.

THE CLOUD OF GOD'S PRESENCE

This morning during my Quiet Time I sat looking out of my window at the exquisite clouds rolling through the sky.  With the trees standing tall in their winter bareness, the sky is big and so were the clouds.  It was beautiful.  As I watched them I was reminded of a poem I wrote about clouds back in the 60s.  They spoke to me about wandering and freedom.

CLOUDS

White puffs of smokeless smoke, airless air, cottonless cotton,

Floating freely and uninhibitedly through the sky

Wandering aimlessly, coming from everywhere, yet going nowhere

Changing their patternless shapes with no hesitation

Not one taking the form of another.

Scattered haphazardly and helter-skelterly across the

Brilliant blue background of the sky

The white puffs attract the attention of dreamers

And romantics everywhere

Their nomadism and freedom is admired and desired by all.

I thought about the Exodus story and how God Presence was always with the folks walking through the desert in the form of a cloud by day; how when Moses used to go to the Tent of Meeting, the cloud of God’s Presence would descend upon the tent and Moses would speak to God face to face. On the Mount of Transfiguration God came in a cloud and said, “This is my Son.  Listen to him”.  Jesus’ disciples watched him ascend to heaven in a cloud; and Jesus will return to gather us together in a cloud at his Second Coming.

The clouds that surround me day by day are really God’s Presence, which is everywhere.  It made me appreciate clouds all the more.  I was reminded of times when my mom and I would lie on the ground and look up at the clouds and see all kinds of shapes and forms in them.  She was a cloud watcher as well.  Going through her photo albums there were pictures and pictures of just clouds.  It’s nice to know she is up there within touching distance with them now.  It’s nice to know that she and I both are continually immersed in Clouds of God’s Presence, both on this side of heaven and the other side as well.

EVEN THE WIND & THE SEA OBEY

One of the perks of working as a camp director is I got to live at the beach during the winter.  I worked year round but only had to be on property during the spring and summer.  My winter work could be done anywhere so I chose to live at Rehoboth Beach Delaware.

My love affair with the ocean began early in my life.  My father was in the Navy and my mother chose to follow him from port to port.  Much of my life was spent living close to the ocean and I would spend most of my time on the beach.  I have seen the sea calm and I have seen the sea at its roughest.  My mother taught me early to both fear and respect the ocean because its water and waves are uncontrollable by human hands or intentions.

It was this love of the ocean that subconsciously taught me about God before I was old enough to want to seek Him out.  The winds and the waves had a definite life flow to them; the tides come in and go out just as I breathe air in and out of my body.  The ocean was wild and nothing or no one human could control it.  I saw there was a definite power and rhythm to the ocean and I attributed that to the God who created it.  As I grew older and began getting more involved with God, I knew without a doubt that God, and God alone created and was responsible for that rhythm and power.

I find it hard to understand how anyone who loves nature, especially the ocean, can deny the existence of God.  Nature is full of evidence of the existence of God, especially the ocean.  People who deny God become their own god and feel they control their own life and all that is around them.  Life at the beach would challenge them; I would challenge them.  Can you control the wind and the waves; can you control the coming of morning and the going of the day?  You may understand them but you cannot control them.  Only God can do that.

I am not a scientist but I appreciate their efforts.  They have accomplished many good things.  People like Stephen Hawking, who expend much of their time and energy developing and proving theories amaze me, for they live in a realm that is not where I live.  I read that he is on a quest to find the theory of everything; one unifying answer to all the questions of life.  I looked at some pictures of pages and pages of equations and it blew my mind.

My only question is how can you do that without bringing God into the equation?  For me God IS the one unifying answer to all the questions of life.

God is not a theory.  God is the one True thing, Truth Himself.  As much as the realm of thought of the scientist is above my thoughts, so God’s thoughts and ways are on a higher realm than theirs.  They may eventually know how everything works but they can never have control over the way things work.  Their theory of everything may be proven at some point in time, but it will not be the Truth.  God’s Truth is proven every morning as I watch the daylight come, and every evening when I watch the daylight go, and all the other times when I watch the wind whip up the waves on the ocean.

MY WAY OF BEING IN THE WORLD

In the beginning God created the world and gave life to everything He created.  Jesus came into the world and gave life to those who believed and received it.  There is an order to life, a rhythm to life.  Nature reveals God’s power and His attributes.  Nature reveals a divine order and a divine balance to life.

I feel it most in solitude and silence.  There is a letting go and a decompressing that I settle into, a stillness that lets me know all is well.  I cease striving and simply BE.

My tree teachers outside my window are covered with snow; they are standing tall, still, and majestic against the sky.  They are at peace and I am at peace as I look at them.  They are in their place, not struggling to be anything or anywhere else than where they are now; in divine order and in perfect balance.  They live quietly as each season comes and goes; not their own rhythm but God’s divine rhythm.  That is their way of being in the world; what they do to be that way is their religion.

I don’t worship these trees but I do learn from them.  I don’t worship nature or the things that God created, but I do learn from them.  They reveal God to me.  They point me to the Creator of all things, as all good teachers are to do.  God reveals Himself in nature and I do well to watch and wait in its presence. I do well to learn from its order and rhythm my way of being in the world; this is my religion.